OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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