My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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