Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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