You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
