we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
