Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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