Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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