He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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