Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Send help, water and tortillas.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
