Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
