Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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