Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
