Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
