worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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