She's JV to your varsity
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize