Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
