Pants 0. Shit 1.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
