Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
