just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
