I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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