Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Terrible idea I love it
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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