he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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