Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
