if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
