Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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