my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
