I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
