when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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