I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
