Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
