I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
