Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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