i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Watching her eat just hurts me
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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