Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
