you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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