she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
