Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Say something about gay babies.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
