your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
