We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
