I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
