i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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