Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
