so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
