I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
