you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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