I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
