i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
