I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
