he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
