walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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